Ever notice when in conflict with others how we see ourselves as passionate, determined and persevering? And we see our “opponent” as stubborn, obstinate, and intractable?
Conflict isn’t necessarily bad if it brings us to better understanding of each other and ourselves, and we keep the objective well defined. “Conflict” can be a tool if we let it evolve into “negotiation” – and if we get our egos out of the way. Resisting that evolution can mean either the purpose isn’t clear, or it has morphed into self-importance.
Mark Twain said “we do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.”
Taking time to examine (and admit) our true goal before pushing through a conflict can be the key to connecting deeply to others and understanding ourselves. We don’t need to let go of our sense of self; we just need to keep moving it to a more evolved place.