July 11, 2016
Love: Does Obligation Fit In Here?
|Merriam Webster’s definition of “obligate” is “to bind legally or morally.” The legal kind has more black-and-white in it, sharp lines designed to protect, delineate, clarify and hold accountable. The moral kind can get a bit messy, smearing those lines into a grayish smudge.
Love should be the basis for our family, romantic and social relationships, but that isn’t always the case, is it? When love has eroded and been replaced by a sense of obligation imposed by one party or the other, it’s time to take a closer look at what’s really happening.
There is only great love in the universe. And whatever our “obligations” are, unless we feel that great love in our actions, we need to do the hard work of defining what we do feel.
Resentment, betrayal and coercion all feel so terrible because they’re not the Intention at the root of our existence. We are loving, generous, compassionate, sharing human beings. And when we don’t feel all we’re supposed to feel, we need to back up, examine the causes, take ownership, clarify boundaries, and find our way to love again, even if that means inserting time and distance into the relationship.
Finding our way to love starts with mutual hearing, understanding, support and respect. This process keeps egos in check, balance in our relationships, and a sense of self based in worthiness for all parties. Then we can find our way to compromise in the situation, and reverence in and for each other.
In love, there is no room for obligation. Only the fulfillment of Intention.