August 3, 2015
There are ten rules for changing other people: Rule #1 – you can’t change other people. Rules #2-10 – refer to rule #1.
Yes, we’ve heard it all a hundred times…you can’t change other people. Maybe we can create an environment where they’ll want to change, but we cannot change them; we can only change ourselves.
So let’s look at the real work here.
Insisting that someone (or something) change so we can be happy is really our attempt to get out of doing our own work. When our buttons get pushed, it isn’t the pushing that needs fixing (that would make it too easy), it’s the button.
If someone or something “makes” us angry, victimizes or manipulates us, we’re saying our response and behavior are out of our control and that we’re not accountable for our own actions. What we’re saying is we’re powerless. And we’re not.
There will always be provocations, situations and conflicts that take us out of “our happy place” if we choose to give them that power. Or we can see these conditions as a means to understand ourselves better, get clear on our real intentions and do our own inner work of remembering who we are.
Personal power can never be taken away. It can only be given away.